Your Child and Play
We all know that children like to play. But what we may not knowis the importance of play in a child's life. It has been said that play is the natural presence of work for a child. Play is essential to every area of a child's growth and development.
-Mentally
Play enables children to know things about the world and to discover information essential to learning. Through play children learn basic concepts such as colors, counting, how to build things, and how to solve problems. Thinking and reasoning skills are at work every time a child engages in some type of play. Life tasks such as climbing stairs are first introduced to a child through play.
- Socially
Children learn to relate to one another, negotiate roles, obey rules, and most importantly, the satisfaction of belonging to a group. Learning how to gain friendships is one of the most rewarding outcomes of play.
- Emotionally
Play fulfills many needs including a sense of accomplishment, successfully giving and receiving attention, and the need for self-esteem. Play brings to children other emotionally satisfying experiences such as a sense of fairness, meaningful activity, and recognition. Through dramatic play chidren encounter a wide range of emotions such as anger, fear, frustration, stress and will discover ways to cope with these feelings.
- Physically
Play provides a means for energy to be put to use. It strengthens and refines small and large motor skills, and it builds stamina and strength. Sensory learning develops mostly through play. Play is significant to physical development in that without it the body could not grow and develop normally.

Children have a strong, natural desire to investigate, explore, and make sense out of their world through play. The quality of play can be supported by home and school alike as we create appropriate learning environments and choose materials and equipment that maximize a child's play opportunities.

Teaching Young Children through Work and Play
We have learned so much recently about the importance of play for young children that many families may overlook how meaningful work can also nurture development.

Young children flourish when allowed to enter the world of real work that surrounds them - from picking up toys or feeding the cat to grating carrots for salad. In the company of family or other adults, children eagerly engage in work. They want to 'help' with the pursuits of adults, and this work can be a crucial part of their early learning.

If you shield young children from a whole category of activity simply because it is called 'work' and not 'play,' you may be limiting their developmental opportunities.

On the other hand, if you invite children to participate in work and play, you give them many more ways to grow and learn.

Through work that is meaningful and a real contribution to the family or group, even young children can gain a sense of purpose, and come to feel more a part of the family.

With proper adult supervision, there are many types of chores that families can consider for young children, which can help them begin learning about responsibility, independence and caring for themselves. Here are a few examples:

• Gathering, preparing, and cooking food
  Even when they are too young to help with lunch or dinner, children can play a role in preparing snacks. And by taking your children to the grocery or market, you can help them better understand where food comes from and how we buy it.
• Running errands
  Letting young children run errands conveys your feelings of trust in them. When you need something - another family member or the phone or a sponge - tell one of your children you need help.
• Caring for younger children
  Even simple tasks (like reading or singing to younger family members) help older children learn about responsibility and sharing.
• Housekeeping
  Children can help set the table and serve themselves at meals. If you are vacuuming the carpet, you can empower your child by letting him run this most-adult-of-all housekeeping tool.
• Caring for animals
  Pets and livestock require water, food and clean environments. Young children can learn valuable lessons by caring for animals.
• Values
  Nurturing plants helps children learn about the wonders of nature. If you don't have space for a garden, a small window planter can bring opportunities to explore.

In all of these activities, it's important to remember several points:

• Keep in mind what your children can accomplish, and how much you need to supervise to make sure the activity is safe.
• Even young children can tell the difference between busy work and real work.
• Also, remember that many chores actually take longer with the help of young children, but a little patience and a few extra minutes lets them reap real benefits from assisting the family.

By matching your expectations to their abilities, encouraging and approving their efforts, and allowing plenty of time for the performance of each task, you can give your young children many opportunities to learn and grow through work.

Praise and Encouragement
We have all heard how important praise and encouragement are to children. As children grow they need to hear frequent positive messages from others to gain a balanced and healthy self worth and to know what is right and good about the choices they make. Criticism on the other hand is often a hindrance to progress and positive growth. Most people do not thrive in an atmosphere of criticism and negative feedback, and children are especially sensitive to these kinds of messages that are often communicated to motivate and guide children.

Children are like sponges. They absorb every word that we say and then take it to heart. In fact children are constantly searching for approval and acceptance. We need to be sources of encouragement and hope for them, or they will find inappropriate ways to gain attention and approval.

Giving children praise has often been the method we use to motivate and send messages of approval to them. Praise can serve as an effective tool if used selectively and specifically with a child. However, it is limited in its effectiveness when the focus is a verbal reward for a task well done, or a positive remark for being the best. Most children need much more than praise to build internal resources of worth and value.

Words of encouragement are the key to helping children focus on their own efforts, improvements and choices. Instead of words of praise that say, "You must please me to get noticed," words of encouragement say "I notice that you have worked hard so far on building that bridge." Children build feeling of adequacy and worth when they see that although they may not be perfect, their efforts and contributions are valued. Often just stating something in positive rather than negative terms is enormously helpful to a child. For example: "I see you have found your sneakers, I'm sure it will only take you a minute to put them on," is far better than, "Can't you put your shoes on a little faster? We're going to be late." In fact, children who are repeatedly told that they are slow, will surely, in time, live up to that label.

Words of encouragement are messages went by loving and wise parents and teachers who see the overwhelming evidence of positive growth in the lives of children. Frequent use of encouragement statements say to a child, "I believe in you!", "You are a capable person.", You have shown effort and that is important.", "You can try again.", "Your contribution may not be perfect but it has great worth to me."

How to Create Everyday Teaching Activities for Your Preschooler

1. Numbers, Colours and Counting. Any store with merchandise on the shelves presents great opportunities to engage your preschooler. He can count the number of one kind of thing (“how many APPLES are on that shelf?”). You can ask her to find everything of a certain colour (“do you see any fruits or vegetables that are purple?”). You can tell him that you need “5 apples,” and ask him to pick them out for you. The opportunities are endless.
2. Sorting is a key early mathematics skill for preschoolers, and they are practically programmed to sort things--they love it! When you are unpacking groceries or folding laundry, encourage your preschooler to help you sort things by shape, size or purpose.
3. Choose picture books that are full of rich sounds and rhythms to read aloud. The perennial favorite, Dr. Seuss, is very good because his stories use rich vocabulary and lots of alliteration (words that start with the same sound).
4. Letters and their sounds. The world around us is full of text. Point out signs, newspapers, labels, anything with text and help your child identify letters, and play aloud with the sound of the letter. (“What other word do you know that starts with that sound?”)

Ten Keys to Successful Parenting
It is important that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not have a need to turn to gangs, drugs, or sex to feel powerful or belong.

The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.

1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)
Your child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.
It is also important to recognize that feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. So when your child says to you, "Mommy, you never spend time with me" (even though you just played with her) she is expressing what she feels. It is best at these times just to validate her feelings by saying, "Yeah, I bet it does feel like a long time since we spent time together."
2 - Use Action, Not Words
Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.
3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.
4 - Use Natural Consequences
Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.
5 - Use Logical Consequences
Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.
6 - Withdraw from Conflict
If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.
7 - Seperate the Deed from the Doer
Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child's self-esteem?
8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time
Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn't dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?
9 - Parent with the End in Mind
Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.
10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through
If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.